I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
