my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize