so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
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i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
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You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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