There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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