i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
