sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
