So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
