Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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