fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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