Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
