i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
