you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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