"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
