I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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