Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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