OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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