i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
