so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
