wrigley field is MILF paradise
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
