Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
