My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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