I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
