in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
