opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
