Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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