Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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