nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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