Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
