so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
