8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
