I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
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i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
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I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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