me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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