Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
