I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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