TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
