they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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