I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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