watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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