4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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