I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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