So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
