but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
