5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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