Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
