Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
