does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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