what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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