my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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