Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Let's get the cat blown out
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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