Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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