she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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