Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
