well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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