haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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