im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
