This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
