Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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