You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
