Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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