As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
