So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He shit in the fireplace
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
